One Day...

September 20, 1998

      Hi Mom,

      Jenny thought it would be a good idea to let you know a typical day in our lives. So, here goes:

      Today we get up at 8:00am.. Have breakfast. Hmm, scrambled eggs ... Of course I make it in my non-stick frying pan. I am happy that this will give me my first dose of fluoride in the day. After all, I need my fluoride, it's good for me:-)

      And if the FDA says that Teflon coated pots and pans release more fluoride into a hamburger than a pure aluminum pan, but still in safety limits, (don't know what they are, though) - hey, that makes me happy ... These guys really know how to be funny:-) ... (I'm also happy that I have almost every available cook and bake ware item coated with it - griddles, saucepans, casseroles, muffin pans, cookie sheets, Dutch ovens, egg poachers, cake pans, deep fryers, and waffle bakers..As you can see, I LOVE it!!)

      Of couse I'll have a glass of milk with my breaky, for it contains another 0.72mg/l of fluoride. (I have to make sure I'll have another glass tonight at Dinner ... )

      Than it's off to brush my teeth - one of my favourites! I'm gonna put it on nice and thick today, just like on TV - after all, IT'S THE FLUORIDE! (Gosh how I love that commercial ... )

      After breakfast I've gotta get Jenny to school. She, of course, had cereal for breakfast. (Not too many people know that cereal is good for the F, as I'd like to call it ... you know, the "F-word" ... hehehe ... just imagine- Fruit Loops at 2.1 mg/kg - you add a little milk ... and voila! ... you got a good little dose right there!) The Orange Juice at 1.2 mg/l is a great bonus, of course.

      Anyway, me and Jenny got this thing going where we try to beat each other in the "F" intake ... she seems to be winning ...(She definitely likes her toothpaste better, it tastes like bubblegum! Lucky girl!!!) Little does she know that I raised her on the bottle with fluoridated water ... She doesn't know she got a headstart on me ... One day I'll have to tell her ... :-) Of course I make sure that I pack one of those little juice boxes in her lunch. She just loves the grape-juice - hey, at 6.8mg/l this has gotta be the best!

      At 11:00am it's time for Dr. El Ignoro - my Dentist, for my check-up and cleaning. I love that guy!! He likes to give me the fluoride in a BIG way, 13,000 of those little suckers or ppm's, whatever they call 'em! (BTW, it comes in different flavours now, you GOTTA ask your Dentist about it!..) It's also too bad they put that poison warning on the toothpaste last year ... well, I guess it's safer. Kids need to know that eating that stuff could kill you. Everything in moderation is my motto ...hehehe)

      By the way, did you know that Dentists make a whole bunch more dough in fluoridated areas than in non-fluoridated areas? These folks know how to do it right!

      For lunch I stop at the Golden Arches for the Big One. Just imagine, billions and billions served ... And I'm sure the 1mg of F won't hurt! These guys know how to cook! (I think I'll have Jenny's next birthday party there ... it ain't expensive at all ...)

      Of course, I'll have a Cola ... the Big Value Deal..I guess by now everyone knows that Cola has 1mg/l of the F ... I really thought I had a secret here.:-( ... Jenny also likes this stuff ... I'm sure glad they installed that Cola machine at her school ... It's gonna raise a lot of dough for her school! There is also another HotDog day coming up, with lots of that good ole' F in it.)

      After lunch, I go home, brush my teeth. After all, brushing after every meal is good for you! (And it's also another 0.5mg ....hehehe)

      BTW, Jenny 's got these spots on her teeth, but I'm sure they'll go away. They say it's only cosmetic, so why worry? As long as she doesn't get any more of those cavities ... Last month she had to get two filled. I'm having trouble enough getting her to go to the Dentist!!

      (BTW, the Dentist is really cool ... He's got all these posters in his office as to how to stay healthy ... Recommendations as to what to eat and stuff ... The "F" is on all of them!)

      Later I pick up Jenny from After-School care. She seems tired. Lately she's been complainig a lot lot about tummy-aches and "stings" and pain in her knees, as well as pain in her ears. I try to tell her that those are "growing-pains" and nothing to worry about. Maybe I'll let her skip the Ballet class today. I'm sure that those sores in her mouth will go away as well. She's also complaining about not being able to concentrate. Her teacher says she might have a learning disorder, and that I should keep an eye on it.

      Anyways, I always kind of try to have supper ready for 6pm, for everyone tells me that it's good for a child to have definite routines. I think tonight I'll defrost and warm up the "East-Coast Chowder" stew Grandma made for us. It's truly great. (If you like to know the recipe, just let me know.) It's got lots of fish in it! Betty (my neighbour) catches them herself whenever she's out there. (Only I know that it has  lots of the "F", ya know what I mean?-:)

      (of course I also verified with Grandma that the stew was made with T-coated ware and fluoridated water for that little extra boost "F" ... She said it stewed the whole day ... just imagine all that "F"! Of course everyone knows that fluoride (boiling water, 10 Minutes) dissolves 1000 times as much metal from aluminum containers as pure water.

      Everyone also tells me to have some green stuff once a day, so I make sure I have a salad. After all - lettuce, tomatoes, citric fruits, etc. are sprayed with cryolite, another good one for the good old "F". Did you know the EPA is trying to raise the levels considerably, like from 7 up to 45 ppm for leaf lettuce, even up to140 for head lettuce? Yippeeeh! I'm glad we have those guys in the "know-how". They must know what's good for us!

      After Dinner, Jenny likes to watch a bit of TV. After that, another glass of juice, brushing our teeth - at least another 0.5mg-, and off to bed! (At our house, it's "light's out" at 8:30pm) I always give her a glass of water, for she likes having something by her side, just in case she gets thirsty during the night.

      Today I'm sure I'll have had at least 8mgs of fluoride for the day! Jenny probably won the contest today, though ... I gotta hand it to her!! Hopefully I get to raise my level just a bit tomorrow, when Bill is having his annual Bar-B-Que. A couple of beers, and my dose might even get to 10mg! Linda says that wine is better for the "F", 'cause of the grapes, but I'm really not a wine person ...

      My Arthritis is getting worse. Joints are hurting a lot, and I hope to see someone about that next week. Also been having those dizzy spells again, and feel quite tired and weak as of late. Maybe I need to take even more "F", who knows? Maybe I should be drinking more water and drop the tea and coffee for a while. Have to make sure I'll ask Dr. Deny about that one next time I see her.

      Oh, just to let you know, those antacids I've been taking for my stomach troubles can contain 50 milligrams of aluminum or more, and it is not unusual for a person with an upset stomach to consume more than 1,000 milligrams, or 1 gram, of aluminum per day. I'm so happy that fluoride is included there as well!

      Also, from what I hear, there are some "eco-warriors" at work trying to stop water-fluoridation here in Anytown. Don't they know what's good for them? Apparently a guy from the ADA is flying up to convince them otherwise. That'll teach 'em!

      Oops, just realized that I forgot to give Jenny her Calcium supplement today! I hear bone meal is "organic" and it will give her lots of F, plus a little Pb as well. Dentists used to put both of those goodies on kids teeth, until those awful chicken-little types stopped it. Some people seem to be afraid of everything. They think it's a Communist plot or something. I even heard someone say something about toxic waste once ... as though OUR government officials would lie to us!

      That'll be it for now. My fingertips get a little numb after typing so much. Hope to see you soon!

      Your loving son,

      Andy

      P.S.

      How is Dad? I so feel for him and you. I'll try to come by next week to give you a hand. They say Alzheimer's is gonna TRIPLE in the next few years. I sure hope they can find a cure soon. How is your Osteoporosis coming? Did you know that 1 in every 8 people has got this? Has Dr. Deny been able to get approval for your hip-replacement?

      I am kind of tired of thinking about it all. I'm glad to know that the F lowers the IQ so much ... One day I won't have to think at all!
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